When you finally marry a person you love your world suddenly becomes different and everything appears better than it is. You feel happy all the time, and it seems like that this feeling will last forever. But life is not a fairy tale, and things do change with time. When a marriage starts to age, sometimes couples come closer emotionally, but other times, they just grow apart. At some point in your marriage, you will find yourself at a stage where your partner’s few bad traits will start bothering you and vice versa. When this happens, most couples start fighting regularly, and there will always be some sort of disagreement between them. If this is happening to you, then it is a sign that your marriage is not going in the right direction.
If you find yourself in a marriage where both you and your partner are just going through the motions, then you need to do something about it. If both of you are suffocating, then there is no need for both of you to suffer anymore. It is understandable that ending a marriage is not an easy decision, and most of the time, you will want to make it work somehow. It is hard to imagine your life without the person you are in love with or once loved. But if things are affecting both of you mentally and physically, then getting a divorce is the right thing to do. If you are unsure whether your marriage has become troubling or it is just a phase, you can look for these signs to evaluate your marriage.
Always Criticizing Each Other
If you guys are at a stage where you keep criticizing each other for the smallest of the things, then it is a clear sign that your marriage is not working out. If your partner is criticizing you a little, then it is healthy because constructive criticism can actually strengthen your bond. However, if you criticize each other just because you feel annoyed, then you are being unfair to each other and yourself. Research shows that if the criticism in your relationship exceeds the compliments, then it is becoming unhealthy. If you have had a negative interaction with your partner, you need at least five compliments or positive interactions to negate it. So, analyze your relationship, and if you see troubling signs, then it can mean your marriage is not working out.
The Argument Loop
Another sign that your marriage is becoming troubling is that you argue about the same things with your partner over and over again. It does not matter what kind of arguments you are constantly getting into; if it’s becoming a habit, then it is not healthy for either of you. An argument itself is not a bad thing. In fact, couples who argue more are likely to stay together for a longer time period. When you argue in a relationship, it helps you get your frustration out, and that can calm down both you and your partner. It is widely considered as a healthy behavior in any relationship. However, if the argument you are having is the same argument you had the last month and three months before that, then it is not a good thing at all. When such a thing happens, it means that you are not going to find any middle ground. As a result, you will start communicating less with each other after every argument.
You Stopped Having Sex
Now do not get this one wrong. In every relationship, there is a time where both the partners just do not want to have sex. Taking off your partner’s clothes and getting into bed with them is not something you will enjoy daily. But these are small time periods, and you will have a good time with your partner from time to time. However, if you have not engaged sexually despite both of you being healthy and sexually active, then there is a much bigger problem here. This problem itself is not about sex but is about emotions. It means that you do not have that emotional intimacy anymore and are missing the romance you once had. When that link is broken, it can become hard for both of you to have engaged sexually. According to Social Psychology and Personality Science that a happy couple engages in sex at least once a week. If they are not, then there is definitely something wrong there.
You Don’t Like Spending Time with Each other
If you are constantly running away from your partner and do not want to be alone with them, then it is a huge red flag. You need to do some introspection and see whether you still like spending time with your partner, or would you rather be out with a friend? If the answer is the latter, then it means that the connection you once had is now lost, and you don’t communicate the way you once used to. If your partner feels the same and both of you have started to ignore each other more, then there is no point for both of you to suffer. You should talk about this like mature people and consider divorce as an option. You can also reach out to an experienced Los Angeles Divorce Attorney who can help you see things clearly and will help you through the process of divorce.
You Keep Secrets from Each Other
Another indication that your marriage is becoming troubling is that you have started to keep secrets from your partner or vice versa. There is nothing wrong with keeping a few things to yourself for your peace of mind or for your partner’s betterment. However, if you started to keep secrets that you should not, then it is a clear sign that you are drifting away from each other. For example, you went out to dinner with a friend or colleague who finds you attractive or spending money on something you promised you would not. When these things start happening, it means that you do not want your partner to lash out on small things. It also means that you do not trust them enough anymore and are not sure how they will react to it.
Your partner is not The First Person You Turn to
If you are in a healthy and successful marriage, your partner will always be your go-to person. It does not matter whether you are going through a bad time or you have just received good news; your partner will be the first to know. You might share it with your family and friends as well immediately, but the way you will discuss it with your partner, you would not discuss it with anyone else. And the same thing goes for your partner as well. When they have to share something, you would be the first person they will call. After all, your partner is your support, and you will always share the bad and good news with them first. However, if this has changed with you and your partner and you do not tell each other things immediately, then it means you don’t care for each other as much as you used to.
You Fantasize About Having an Affair
Let’s get one thing out of the way; it does not matter how much you love your person and how attractive they are. Once you get married, it does not mean that you would stop finding other people attractive. Both of you will find other people attractive because that’s basic human nature. However, finding someone attractive is one thing but fantasizing about being with them is another thing. If you feel like you want to have an affair with a person you find attractive, then it is wrong and is a sign that you are not satisfied with your marriage. This is not something that you will do intentionally; you will just start feeling attracted to another friend or colleague and will desire to have a physical relationship with them.
How to Save Your Marriage?
If you are able to identify more than one of the signs mentioned above in your marriage, then it can be troubling. When your marriage has become this damaged, it is hard to come back from it. You both can try to work things out on your own, but you will only be forcing yourselves into it. However, if you only see a few signs and think that your marriage can be saved, then you should start working on it immediately. You can begin by confronting your partner and explaining the entire situation to them. If you feel that your problems are not solving even after that, you can consider marriage counseling. This will allow you to dish out things, and the counselor can help you see things that both of you are unable to. A marriage therapist never takes sides and helps a couple see both narratives. They will help you understand your partner’s perspective, which can be great for your marriage. They can also help you reignite the love you once had for each other
via Straight News https://northdenvernews.com/should-i-get-a-divorce-7-signs-of-a-troubled-marriage/
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